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How to Merge Two Households and Stay Sane

The traditional manner in which people used to move into a new home has changed significantly over the years. Previously, a young couple lived at home until they married and then moved into their new home with a few belongings and some new or second hand furniture.

Nowadays, a couple is more than likely moving in together after spending a few years in their own home as couples marry much later now or they move in together without going through a church service. The result is that both are carrying more baggage, both physically and mentally.

There is less of a commitment to moving in together compared to marrying and finding a new home. It is often seen as a temporary measure during a possible engagement period, whether official or not, with either partner being able to move out at a moment’s notice if all is not going as well as expected.

Merging two sets of household goods

The difficulty with people moving in together after having managed their own household for some years, is deciding which items you should move into the house and which you should send to a charity shop for recycling.

You may both already own a microwave oven and if your new home doesn’t have space for two, you will have to decide which oven moves with you. While this decision might appear easy, there are many more difficulties ahead as the couple tries to decide upon their favourite wall decor. When one person prefers oil painting copies of old masters and the other has a preference for avant-garde, they will have to decide to compromise with choosing one style against the other or mix and matching designs in different rooms. The alternative is to start afresh with a new couple’s choice of design.

Understanding the relationship

If both parties are completely convinced about their long term relationship, then a series of compromises will be useful, but if one partner is less committed, they may find they have less say about furnishing the new home, which in turn, may put them off wanting to live there.

If you aren’t as committed as perhaps you should be, you may wish to store some of your most treasured items at your parents’ home, because you may need them again sooner than you currently believe.

You will both have to learn new rules about diplomacy. You might detest your partner’s favourite dinner crockery set, but is it worth upsetting the boat with every single item you don’t like? You might learn to live with their choices.

Don’t make assumptions about items that will stay and those that are definitely going to the tip. Sometimes, a worn out teddy bear may have a long family history and that horrible piece of pottery might have been handed down through their family for over three hundred years. This is not the time to start arguments, so it is better to be extremely aware of any item you wish to criticise. It is healthier to discuss how the item will fit in the new home rather than dismiss it without consideration if you want to save your relationship

You will both need to have unambiguous discussions about planning your new home’s design and decor.

Moving in with your significant other? Sharon writes for Removals Services Scotland where you can get help with Edinburgh removals.

Image: Tijs Zwinkels/Flickr

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