When it comes to dating, lots of single people are stuck in a rut. They do the same thing over and over, expecting a different result each time. It doesn’t work that way, however, and they remain single. Changing your strategy, behavior, and expectations can make all the difference and I’m living proof of that. If you’ve been single for a while and you feel the monotany of dating creeping in on you then it’s your lucky day! Here are the top 5 reasons (according to me, of course) why you’re still single and what you can do differently to get yourself unstuck.
1. Unrealistic Expectations
This is the easiest to fix. Too many people want a perfect partner who is tall, handsome/beautiful and degree educated. When their dates don’t meet these requirements, they are often ditched immediately. What about the 5’7″ guy who makes you laugh? The ‘cute’ but not fantastic brunette who is an amazing gourmet chef and sweeter than any dessert she’s ever made? Focus on their core values and get rid of any superficial fluffy stuff. You’ll open up the dating pool and have a full diary.
2. Get Over your Ex
Stop pining over what was and move forward. If your relationship was so great, why aren’t you still together? Get back out there, stand up tall and make the move towards someone who might really be the one.
3. Old Habits Die Hard
Stop spending so much time with the same group of friends. Widen your horizons and start to mingle. Go to singles events alone. Use dating websites. Don’t be afraid of spending time elsewhere to avoid getting bored. Remember that the same walls can get dull over time.
4. Ditch the Past
Don’t let the past have a stranglehold on your future. One bad relationship doesn’t mean the next one will be terrible. An awful childhood won’t make you a bad boyfriend. Learn from the past and do things differently.
5. Trust Yourself
Trust your instincts more and go with your gut feelings. Intuition will know if you’re onto a good thing, or if it’s time to ditch your date. Learn to use it and your dating will be taken to the next level.
What do you think? Do you have any reasons that you’ve noticed why people remain single (not necessarily by choice)?
Daniel Ruyter is a single dad and author of the dating rules book, Memoirs of a Dating Dad. Daniel dated for five long years and knows exactly what it’s like to be stuck in a dating rut!